Do you consider yourself an intelligent person? To answer that, maybe you look at what your grades were in school or college or think about how many times you were able to do a math math perfectly.
Normally, we associate intelligence with the ability to absorb and apply content, so an intelligent person is considered to be one who has always gotten good grades and is able to apply a lot of knowledge on a daily basis.
But did you know that there are other types of intelligence? Maybe you don't have a lot of math skills, but you know how to write a text very well. Or else it's easier to learn and recognize songs. Think about your skills!
In this way, our abilities to solve or absorb a situation in a logical way, following rationality, are fundamental to define our intelligence. However our feelings and our emotions are also important. For Daniel Goleman, an American science journalist, emotional intelligence is just as important as any other.
What is emotional intelligence?
The term “emotional intelligence” first appeared in 1990, in the words of researchers Peter Salovey and John Mayer. Despite this, the popularization of the expression only happened in 1995, when Daniel Goleman published a book with this expression in the title. Since then, the journalist has been known as the father of emotional intelligence.
This term refers to a person's ability to use reason to understand their own and other people's emotions. From this, it is possible to manage our emotional states, act with empathy, understanding and motivation, facilitating coexistence in society and problem solving.
Emotional intelligence can also be analyzed through five main components: emotional self-awareness (understanding one's feelings); emotional self-regulation (control behaviors according to emotional impulses); motivation (directing one's energy towards a goal); empathy (understanding the emotional state of others) and social skills (responding appropriately to external stimuli).
While many people might agree that being aware of your emotions and the emotions of others is essential to solving problems, in general, intelligence is very much associated with the application of logic. So it's as if emotion and reason can't be united in one skill.
There are even those who believe that the only way to measure a person's intelligence is with an intellectual quotient (IQ) test, which includes a series of exercises involving logic. But according to Goleman, IQ represents only 20% of what a person needs to succeed. The other 80% is defined by the emotional quotient (EQ).
Thus, we observe that a person's success is directly related to the way he is able to deal with what he feels. After all, if a person feels very stressed, for example, and does not take action to feel better, it is likely that his performance in other tasks will begin to fall.
In other words, developing emotional intelligence on a daily basis is synonymous with having the right tools to deal with complicated situations, to relate better with other people, to get to know yourself better and to manage your own emotions. With these skills, your other intelligences and your performance in many areas of your life can stand out.
How to develop emotional intelligence?
The best way to develop emotional intelligence is through self-knowledge. This process can be carried out even with professional psychological help, but we separate other ways to help you with this. Check out!
1) Observation of yourself
The first step in understanding your emotions is to observe your behaviors. How are your emotions controlling your way of dealing with problems and acting with other people? What could be improved in this process?
2) Mastery of emotions
Mastering your emotions is a long and effortful process, but it is possible. Practice meditation, physical exercise, or breathing exercises to better deal with impulsiveness, stress, anger, and negativity.
3) Controlling negative emotions
Understanding that we don't just have positive emotions is part of the good use of emotional intelligence. But we cannot allow negative emotions to consume us. They must be analyzed, understood and mastered.
4) Development of self-confidence
A person's self-confidence is what allows him to recognize his strengths and weaknesses and know how to amplify them or how to solve them, respectively. Know that you are not a perfect person, but that your skills can lead you to success!
5) Control of stressful situations
Stress and tension situations will always happen. Because of this, we need to learn to deal with them in the best way possible, to prevent something small from becoming an avalanche. Get organized and schedule to avoid the accumulation of tasks.
6) Freedom of expression
Don't hold back! Talk about your feelings and emotions with people around you or who have an intimate relationship with you. That way, it will be possible to understand more about what you feel and build deeper bonds.
7) Developing empathy
Take the time to get to know people, listen to them, and understand the emotions they feel. Even if you can't put yourself in their shoes, you must be able to respect and validate feelings that fall short of your experience.
8) Exercise of resilience
With resilience, a person is able to understand what is happening around them, and even when they are problems that are difficult to overcome, they have the ability to remain firm and focused, without getting carried away by negative feelings.
9) Response instead of reaction
If we were to act by following only our emotions, without analyzing them, we would always be reacting to situations, instead of responding to them. When we respond, we think about what we're feeling and how to harness that emotion in a positive way.
10) Understanding your own limits
If you don't recognize your limits, other people won't. As you develop your self-awareness, find out what you can and can't do to prevent a task overload from falling on you and damaging your feelings.
Contents about emotional intelligence
To delve deeper into the subject of emotional intelligence, there are some complementary contents that may be of interest. Meet some of them below!
1) Book “Emotional Intelligence”, Daniel Goleman, 1995;
2) Podcast “Living with Emotional Intelligence”, Ricardo Piovan;
3) Book “Emotional Intelligence 2.0 – Do You Know How to Use Yours?”, Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, 2009;
4) Online lecture “Emotional Intelligence with Gustavo Reis”
5) Instagram profile “@inteligencia.emocional”
Benefits of developing emotional intelligence
From what has been presented in the other topics, you should already know some of the benefits of developing emotional intelligence. First, you will become someone who understands your inner self, learning how to handle certain situations and understanding your feelings properly.
Second, you will have self-control over your feelings. When you feel stress, anger, tension, discouragement or any bad feeling, you will know what to do to act without these emotions controlling you. Your attitudes will be guided by reason, even if you don't give up what you feel.
- Check out the benefits of emotional intelligence
- How to deal with emotions in everyday life? Understand!
- Study the relationship between limbic system, emotional intelligence and self-esteem
- Learn how emotional intelligence is seen by the spiritist doctrine
- Find out how to feel before you think and use your emotional intelligence
Third, you will become a more empathetic person, who is able to listen and understand the other, who knows how to act in social situations. That way, it will be more pleasant to be around you, as you will be someone who is trustworthy, caring, warm and fun.
From everything that has been presented, we understand that emotional intelligence is a way of understanding and controlling our feelings. Thus, we are able to assess the emotions of others and develop empathy for them. The more we use our reason in partnership with our feelings, the more successful we will be in our lives. Try it!
